Momish

I believe that I am a Momish. 

I feel as if I am already a Mom, just maybe lacking some aspects of the literal definition of  the term Mom. But day in and day out I am a Momish...

The first thing I think about in the morning when I wake are my future children. The last thing I think about as I close my eyes at night are my future children. Day in and day out I fight for my children. I fight to be strong and I fight to not give up on them.

I KEEP PUSHING FORWARD KNOWING THAT ONE DAY WE WILL MEET AND ONE DAY I WILL HOLD THEIR HANDS IN MINE. 

I have given up my body for my children. I have bruised my stomach and thighs with shots to help create an environment they can thrive in. I pump my body full of medication that makes me mentally feel more like Joan Crawford's Mommy Dearest to ensure that they get nothing but the best place to grow. 

I put them first. If it were just about me... I wouldn't do the medicine. I wouldn't take the shots. I wouldn't research every doctor, every procedure, or every option available to ensure we as a family get the best care.

I ALREADY LOVE MY CHILDREN MORE THAN LIFE ITSELF. 

I am a Momish and I am damn proud of that. 

So, on Mother's Day I am not sad. I am hopeful...hopeful because I know in time there will be a Mother's Day where the only tears I shed are those of joy. I will look back on the hard times and be proud of the Mom I was before I met my children because that Momish part of me is the one that holds the strength, hope, and perseverance on our journey to meet our children.